repercussions of being a singleton
I have ambivalent feelings for school breaks, holidays and all forms of vacation that compels me to go home. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been raised in a warm, supportive environment (some friends liken it to a real-life ‘Seventh Heaven’). Returning to the family nests, however, means dealing with nosy relatives and competitive parents. These adults not only compare their children’s academic/career achievements, but their romantic lives as well. They are generally nice folks who have an over-abundance of love whereby they think that ‘pushing’ their children to achieve in whatever area they think necessary is an expression of that emotion. Ordinarily, it can be quite amusing, but there are days that they can be exasperating.It can be quite exhausting answering inquisitions on my inexistent love life, their analysis of the matter, and the unsolicited pieces of advice. They have gone to the point of setting me up on blind dates and telling me how to behave- not scare the guy off etc. etc. My mother has started worrying over the issue as well. She used to laugh it off for years, until last year, when it dawned on her that she was my age, she was already married with a couple of kids. And so began our phone conversations that included the question- ‘any interesting guy’. It doesn’t help that my younger sisters seem to have no interest on romantic relationships either (or they are just good at hiding it). Of course our dear mother would blame the ‘unfortunate’ situation on me, as she thinks I set the tone for everything.
‘What’, she would lament, ‘is wrong with you girls?’ My younger sister fave line- ‘I’m in med school, need I say more?’ (she hardly finds time to sleep between school and hospital rounds, how can she find time to date, indeed). My youngest sister- ‘I’m in auditioning boys’ (uh, okey). Me, I can’t echo the former excuse, and I’ve been telling the latter for years, it has become rather unbelievable.
So I tell them, I am commitment-phobe and they might as well get used to the idea that I might not be dragging along a guy to any family function ever. But not to worry, they’d have they little ‘apo’ as soon as I have the inclination and the resources to raise a kid. I have long ago held that women do not need men to complete their lives or whatever the male species are for. Save for their, uh, sperm men do not have anything valuable to complete a woman’s life.
I figured the Christmas break won’t be any different. I braced myself for another round of ‘the Spanish inquisition’, especially since a number of my close friends got engaged this year and had brought along their fiancés for the holidays. To my surprise, I got none of it. And even my rather crass joke how our bitch (I mean the female dog) must be emulating us (the darned dog refuses all studs), didn’t stir a reaction. Could it be that my relatives have seen the light?
Not really, except that they decided to tone down this year, as apparently a cousin had gone and found herself a ‘stud’. In short, she’s an unwed mother and plans to stay that way. My joke had become a reality and they have a hard time dealing with it. In an idyllic town, it’s a scandal of large magnitude. They would rather have a bunch of old maids over unwed mothers anytime.
So now my parents are singing a different tune, about how we are adults and since they can’t impose on us anymore (meaning, wait before we are married), the least we can do is to be responsible (translation: use protection). I would have laughed had it not been for their serious expression. I just had to reassure them that I would not do a sequel on my cousin’s gambit in deference to my brother’s chosen vocation (ah, the travails of one who has a future priest for a brother), and that, despite my ‘crazy’ pronouncements, I am not really that averse to having a functional family someday. My dad could not help adding that that he really don’t mind if I would get married while still in law school (that’s a great leap; he must be more desperate than I realized ha ha).
posted by annahilated @ 3:19 AM
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